xxddmm

Chapter 29 - The end of a brief journey. (Part 2)

Late July.
The endless day finally gave way to night, but not to darkness, just the bright glow of city lights illuminating the evening.

"We'll soon arrive at our final stop, Tokyo. Passengers transferring to the Tokaido Shinkansen, Yamanote Line, or Keihin-Tohoku Line..."

It was the third and final day of our trip.
As the announcement made clear, the Shinkansen we were riding was just a few minutes away from the end of the line.

Ayami: "Hey, Yuu, it's about time to......"
Yuu: "Mmmm... zzzzzz..."
Ayami: "...Seriously?"

Yuu, was exhausted like a kid after a whole day of playing around...
Actually, scratch that, it's not like a little kid, he really did tire himself out playing and now he's out cold resting his head on my shoulder.

Well, I can't blame him.
We spent these past three days fu... enjoying every moment like the world was ending.

I mean... we did go out and enjoy the beach a little, too.
Okay, I didn't actually get in the water, not even once.

But we ate yakisoba, ramen, shaved ice.
Mostly, I'd take a few bites, then pass the rest to Yuu, who'd finish every last bit.
He stuffed himself so much one time he couldn't move for a whole hour.

So, for that hour, I teased him relentlessly, called him names, laughed at his misery... and then gave him the most indulgent lap pillow ever.

We laughed like the world was ending.
...Wait, does that metaphor even work? Whatever.

Yuu: "Mmm... mmph... mmm..."
Ayami: "........."

He's really out, huh?
Even after the countless naps and countless hours sleeping at the beach, in the hotel, anywhere.

Meanwhile, I haven't slept a single second these three days.
Why? Because... I couldn't take my eyes off him.

Except for bathroom breaks, everywhere we went, we were glued together, even in the shower. So, yeah, I had to stay awake for, like, 97% of the trip.

Even now, on the train, right after he ate his station bento, Yuu started snoozing.
But I just sat there, wide awake, letting him use my shoulder and staring at his sleeping face.

My neck is killing me from holding this awkward angle for so long.
But falling asleep alongside him would feel like such a waste.

This fleeting time, where I can feel his warmth, his weight, his scent...
It's so precious that I want it to last forever.
So I just hope Yuu keeps sleeping, for as long as possible.

But eventually...

Yuu: "Mmm... mmnnnghh! Fuaaahhh, Yami-senpai, where are we now?"
Ayami: "...Good morning, Yuu."

That fleeting happiness is about to end, isn't it?

............
............

Yuu: "Ahh~, I'm so exhausted!"
Ayami: "Well, we did spend the whole trip going at it non-stop."
Yuu: "...I'm not gonna touch that!"
Ayami: "Wow, nice double meaning."

The crowded ticket gates buzzed with people rushing to their destinations, yet there we were, shamelessly tossing around risqué jokes that made adults scowl.
Well, mostly it was me steering the conversation in that direction.

Yuu: "Well, I'm heading this way."
Ayami: "And I'm heading that way."

But then the playful banter, our little bubble of noise, suddenly came to an end.
Because from here, our paths diverged.

The trip ended here at Tokyo Station, as planned.
I'd known it for three days now.

Alright, time to put on the final show.
...Smile~.

Really pull it together.
Keep my twitching mouth corners and clenching jaw under control.

If I let it slip, it'll be a mess.

Yuu: "Hey, Yami-senpai, I'll call you when I get home."
Ayami: "Mhm."
Yuu: "Let's hang out again during summer break, okay?"
Ayami: "Sure."

Crap, not like that. Too low-energy.
Come on, Yami, bring it up a notch.

Yuu: "Next week there's a fireworks festival! ...oh, wait. There's no way you'd wade into a crazy crowd like that."
Ayami: "Look at you, starting to understand me just a little bit, huh?"
Yuu: "Just a little?"

Yes, that's it. That snarky attitude of his.
The way things always were. Perfect.

Ayami: "Well, don't worry about me. You just go enjoy your youth, Yuu. Live it to the fullest."
Yuu: "Why are you so obsessed with this youth thing lately, Senpai?"

Plastering on the mask of a smile.
Letting the sound of my cheerful words flow like a broken faucet.

Filling everything with fabrications.

Ayami: "Study hard, play sports, dream big, fall in love..."
Yuu: "I already did that last one."
Ayami: "Oh? With who?"

"You, obviously! Are you seriously asking me that now?"

Ayami: "...Pfft, hahaha!"

Even now.

Even now, the way Yuu looks at me with genuine frustration, that expression and his words...
Just this once, I'll respond with a genuine smile and laughter.

Thank you, Yuu.
I'll carry that moment with me to the grave.

Ayami: "Bye, then."
Yuu: "See you later, Yami-senpai."
Ayami: "...Bye, then."

Yuu disappeared from sight.
Disappearing from my life.

Ayami: "Goodbye..."

I didn't say it, did I? That word, next.
I didn't make a single promise, did I?

Good. Perfect.
Mission accomplished.

Now I can move forward, no strings attached...

Ayami: "......"

No. Not yet.

There's still one thing left to do.
One final act to start my new life.

............
............

Ayami: "Mom, I'm home."
Masumi: "............"

Not quite home, though.
I was at the local hospital, close to our house.

Why was I here? To pick up my mother, who had been staying here longer than originally scheduled, an extension I'd begged the hospital for.
All so I could take that final trip.

Ayami: "I'm sorry... I went on a little trip..."
Masumi: "............"
Ayami: "But don't worry. That was the last time."

The divorce between my father and mother had gone exactly as I'd planned, successfully.
My father left with barely a fight. He left the house, a substantial savings, and plenty of assets behind.

But then...
My mother, who should have gained freedom, wealth, and the house, broke.

At first, she lashed out at me, the cause of the divorce in her eyes.
During the divorce proceedings, all the anger she'd amassed from my father was directed at me.

And when it finally got to me, when I decided to step away and leave the house again...
She attempted suicide and had to be rushed to the hospital.

I remember sitting by her bed as she apologized through tears, crying uncontrollably.
But the next day, when I visited her again, she started yelling at me, filled with rage once more.

It was then that I understood, this is my punishment.
Punishment for trying to abandon my family, a sin so immense that I could never atone for it in a lifetime.

My mother's dependency shifted from her husband to her daughter.
A toxic mix of guilt, love, and hate now bound us together.
Neither of us knew how to handle it.

Ayami: "It's okay, Mom..."

Because of me, my mother fell apart.

Ayami: "I'll be here for you."

And so, I must stay by her side.
I must support the only family I have left.

Ayami: "From now on... we'll always be together."

I can't be the only one leaning on a man, right?

............
............

I'm Sudou Ayami, the one and only beloved daughter of a woman named Sudou Masumi.
And nothing else. No one else.