xxddmm

Chapter 28 - At the end of a brief journey. (Part 1)

Late July.
It was a clear evening just after most high schools had started summer break.

"Whoa! Yuu, look! The ocean's right there!"
"And the sun's setting over it! This view is incredible!"

I threw open the curtains and the window of our (totally normal) hotel room, and saw the beach stretched out right in front of us.
And the sun, slowly sinking into the horizon, was perfectly aligned with our view.

Yeah, just like the brochure promised -- a perfect ocean view.
Totally worth the splurge.

"But seriously, how is this place only 5 000 yen a night?"
"Oh, that's easy. I used a voucher I had lying around."

Total lie. It was more like 50 000 per person.
Not that I care about money these days.

............
............

Summer vacation had just started, and here we were, as promised -- just the two of us at the beach.
We planned every detail: booked the hotel, bought the train tickets, talked about it every day on the phone, giddy with excitement, and then all that was left was waiting for Yuu's break to start.

"This view's seriously amazing..."
"Still, why are we only freaking out about it now? We should've been enjoying the beach all afternoon."
"Well, maybe because you didn't want to leave the room."

Yeah, we finally got to the beach, checked in early, dropped off our bags, and were supposed to hit the waves.
But... instead, we spent hours doing other things in the room.

"I mean, it's so hot, and I hate getting tanned."
"So typical of you, Yami-senpai."
"Hey, this is like a dream for me -- cuddling while watching the sunset over the ocean?"
"Didn't we just do that? Except we weren't watching the ocean or the sunset."

Yeah, if you're wondering... we did it.
The second we checked in and put our stuff down, I climbed on top of Yuu.
As the other beachgoers went and came back, done for the day, we stayed holed up in the room, completely occupied.

Sorry, fancy, respectable hotel.
I guess we kind of used the room... less respectably.

"Ughhhh, I don't wanna go home!"
"We just got here, Yami-senpai."

We sat side by side on the bed by the window, watching the sun sink below the horizon.

The beach was deserted now, the only sound the gentle crashing of the waves.
But, as night fell, the beach would fill up again with partygoers carrying fireworks.

"Still, we're heading back the day after tomorrow... I wish we could've stayed a whole week."
"Sorry. I told my parents I was going to a study camp, so I couldn't get away for too long."
"Right, you lied to your parents the first time we stayed together too."
"Don't bring that up..."
"...Do you regret being with me?"
"No, what I regret is not passing my exams."

I reached out and touched Yuu's hand on the bed.
He squeezed back firmly, like the boy he is.

That strong, gentle grip steadied my heart, just when it had started to waver.

"But I'm glad, Yami-senpai. You look like you're having fun."
"Well, yeah... I've been looking forward to this since last month."
"Yeah, about last month... I was kinda worried."

Yuu shifts his hand, fumbling a bit, and intertwines his fingers with mine.

"You know... back then, it felt like you were pushing me away. Like you were cornered or something."
"Eh? Really? Maybe you just missed me too much because we couldn't meet?"
"I'm serious... I thought something happened with your family."

The sensation of our hands entwined is a mix of ticklish, soothing, joyful... and bittersweet.

"Ah, don't worry, everything's fine now. Really."
"Are you sure? Don't lie to me, okay?"

Geez... don't say stuff like that while we're holding hands like this.
You'll make me want to ruin the mood and jump you all over again.
Even when everything's perfect, I just want us to melt into each other...

"I've never lied to you, Yuu."
"Liar."
"Okay, fair..."

For once, it's true, Yuu.
Everything really is okay now.

My parents' divorce was finalized.
He left without a fuss.
He even left the house, the savings, and a lot of other assets behind.

I guess he wanted to get away from my mom...
No, away from me.

So yeah, everything's back to normal.
It'll be just me and my mom, living happily... like before.

"........."
"Yami-senpai?"
"Haha... sorry, I just feel so peaceful. Totally zoning out."
"You were anything but peaceful a little while ago."
"And neither were you~."

I trace my finger over Yuu's, slow and teasing.
He jerks a little, startled. So cute.

"But seriously, isn't this nice? Talking when we want, doing it when we want, sleeping when we feel like it... and when we wake up, we're right beside each other."
"The way you say it is so... vivid."
"Because that's how much I've dreamed about this."

And I'll never let him go.
I tangle my fingers with his, deeper, tighter, until it's impossible to tell whose fingers are whose.

Because today... tomorrow... and even the day after...
I want us to be completely entwined.

"It doesn't have to be just on trips like this... We can do this even when we're back."
"Think so?"
"Especially since it's summer break. We can meet every day if we want."
"You've got remedial classes though."
"W-Well, yeah, but we'll still talk on the phone every day."
"That's not enough for me..."
"Okay, okay! I'll make time, somehow... I promise."

Today, tomorrow, the day after...
...No, I don't want just that.

"Hey, Yuu."
"Hm?"

Even thinking about the trip back, about saying goodbye... I hate it.

"Wanna live together?"
"...What?"

One second... two...

Yuu’s blank expression...
It doesn’t change at all.

It wasn’t surprise, or a sudden realization, or anything that felt serious.
It was just blank, dazed, with no expectations, and no possibilities at all.

"So yeah, I'll make you my boy toy, and we can just live a carefree life together! Haha!"
"Agh! You're lying again!"

So, I do what I always do -- I change course.

"Not that I expect you to get it. You're in the middle of your bright, shiny youth, after all."
"You're the same age, you know!"

I let go of his hand and poke his nose playfully.
Teasing him like the younger guy he is, pretending to be the lazy, carefree girl who lives for the moment.

This is fine......
No, this is what I decided from the start.
So why am I wavering now?

"So, what do you wanna do for dinner, Yami-senpai?"
"Why bother? Let's just spend the whole night tangled up like this."
"At least order room service or something!"
"Ugh, such a hassle..."
"You're the laziest person alive."

No, Yuu.
I just can't waste this time on something like eating anymore.

From sunset to nightfall...
From light to the hour of darkness...

Just for now, let me have you all to myself, Yuu.

I'm Matsushita Ayami... actually, now it's Sudou Ayami.
How many hours are left until the time runs out?