xxddmm

Chapter 18 - Nothing all day, something between us.

Today's a completely ordinary day.
...Well, it's only halfway over, just past lunchtime.

"Hey, Ta~kun, welcome back."
"Whoa, you're fast, Hikari!"
"Well, it is the start of the semester. We're both done by noon, right?"
"Yeah, yeah, I guess..."

I'm hanging out in his room, like usual.
Though it's only just past one in the afternoon -- still bright and sunny outside.

And since it's already September, we're back to school.
Both of us had just a half day, thanks to the opening ceremony.

So, yeah, summer vacation is over for both of us.
But... summer itself? Still hanging on.

Recently, it feels like Japan's summers start earlier and linger longer.
Here we are, early September, and it's still easily above 30°C.

"Fi~nally got the AC fixed, huh?"
"Yeah, summer break was pure hell without it..."

Right now, he's standing in front of the AC, eyes practically rolling back in bliss as the cool air rushes out, seeping into his shirt.

The AC broke down in mid-July, and it took until late August for a repair guy to finally come out.

So, August pretty much meant I couldn't camp out here, and whenever we hung out, it was mostly outdoors.

Not that I minded sweating it out in here with him, honestly.

Though, if I'd stayed over and let my mind wander into that territory every time... my brain probably would've melted by now.

"Hey, Hikari."
"Mm? What's up?"
"I was just about to change..."
"Oh, go ahead, don't mind me!"
"Uh, yeah, but..."
"What?"
"...No, it's nothing."

...Huh?

Wait, is it just me, or is something off?
Usually, he'd just throw a quip right back at me... but not this time?

Normally, this would be the part where he'd go, Don't peek, okay? and I'd laugh, As if I would! -- a familiar routine we've done a hundred times.
But this time, it... fizzled out, somehow?

Weird.
I always work so hard to keep everything exactly the same as usual.
I'm careful to react just like I always do.

According to my simulations, this would be where he lets out an exasperated sigh.
But instead, I just got this uncertain, confused breath... or at least, that's what it sounded like.

What's going on? Is something wrong?

"So, Hikari, how was the first day after summer break?"
"Uhh, not much has changed, honestly..."
"Hmm."

I almost tilted my head in confusion.
But then he followed up with his usual lighthearted tone, and I managed to shove my little worry off to the side.

"Anyway, we four still hung out a bunch over break."
"You really are the social type, you know that?"
"Well, nothing's changed for us either, right? We saw each other practically every week."
"...Y-yeah, that's true."

...Huuuh?

Wait? Isn't this just off?
It's like our conversation's lost its usual flow.

"Nothing's changed with you since elementary school."
"Hey, if you say that, the conversation's over!"
"My bad."

Where did that version go?
Why is our banter going so off-script today?

What's going? Why is this not going well...?
Did I do something that's bugging him? And I don't even realize it?

"S-So, what about you, Ta~kun? How was your first day back at school?"
"Nah, nothing special for me either."
"C'mon, didn't anyone show up with a summer makeover? Like, new hair color, piercings, or, y'know, suddenly dating someone in class?"

The weird vibe between us had me feeling a little panicked, so I decided to take charge and steer the conversation myself.

I just kept throwing topics at him, adjusting and pushing things forward until he'd finally go along with one.

"Oh, actually..."
"Hm? What, someone show up with a whole new look?"
"One of the juniors I know... showed up with her new boyfriend."
"......What?"
"Uh..."

The mood I put so much effort in just totally froze!

"This...... girl... is.........?"
"Oh, no, it's not someone you know, Hikari. She didn't go to our middle school, and she's a year below us."

Oh, I know who it is!

It has to be Seki-san, right?!
The girl he dumped right before summer break!
(The, uhh, menheracutesy but crazy-type girl, in my personal opinion!)

"W-well... you know, actually, I really wanna hear more about this!"

Yes, I need the details!
I need to know if she's finally, really out of the picture.
At this point, who cares if the conversation's awkward or not!

"Uh, yeah, that was... I mean... sorry, that just slipped out. Forget I said anything."

But when I leaned in, way too eager to press him for details, he totally shrank back.
He sank down onto the floor with his back to me, looking all embarrassed as he fumbled with his phone, probably trying to dodge my questions.

"Oh, c'mon, tell me! Tell me everything!"
"Whoa! H-Hey!"
"So, what's your deal with her? You said new boyfriend, right? Is she... maybe your ex?"

But nope, he's not escaping this time. My curiosity (and, okay, maybe a touch of desperation) is way stronger right now.
I press right up against his back, making sure he knows I'm not letting this go.

"C'mon, spill it already~! You totally dated that junior, didn't you~?"
"Seriously, stop..."
"Ehhh? Why not? Why not?"

I push forward, playing the overly familiar childhood friend card just like usual.
If he really does get mad, I'll just brush it off with my usual Oh, come on, I was just kidding~! and laugh it off.

But...

"H-Hey, Hikari..."
"Hm?"
"You're... a little close."
"Oh, trying to change the subject again, huh?"
"No, I'm serious, it's just..."
"......"
"......"

Today feels like it's miles away from usual.

It's not that I'm not being myself.
No, I'm doing my best to be just like I always am.
But... he's not reacting like he always does.

"...Sorry, I'm just a bit..."
"No, I'm sorry. I was being annoying."
"No, that's not it. That's not it at all."
"...Ta~kun?"

It feels like... he's actually aware of something.

We're alone in his room.
Our backs leaning against each other.
Talking about our relationships.

Before summer break, he never reacted this way.
Even during the summer, he didn't... feel like this.

Then again...
All summer, we were never really, truly alone together, were we?

We hung out practically every week, but it was always at the pool, at fireworks shows, in places with other people around.

...Wait, hold on?
I mean, just because we're alone, and the conversation's gone a little... sensitive, would he, who's clearly not interested in me, really start noticing me all of a sudden? Is that even possible?

"......"
"......"

My back feels warm.

Which one of us... whose back is giving off this heat?

The AC is fixed now. So, this warmth, from him and from me, should be cooling off... any second now...

............
............

I'm Shirasaka Hikari, sixteen years old......
He's Takamura Yuu, sixteen years old......

......and after that, we didn't exchange a single word until his mom called us down for dinner.