xxddmm

Chapter 31 - A Second Encounter. (Part 1)

Ayami: "Bye, then."
Yuu: "See you later, Yami-senpai."
Ayami: "...Bye, then."

Yuu disappeared from sight.
Disappearing from my life.

Ayami: "Goodbye..."

I didn't say it, did I? That word, next.
I didn't make a single promise, did I?

Good. Perfect.
Mission accomplished.

Now I can move forward, no strings attached...

............
............

Hikari: "Hey, Matsushita-san?"
Ayami: "Mm... huh?"
Hikari: "Sorry, Matsushita-san. Can you wake up for a sec?"
Ayami: "...!?"

It was early September.
The sun shined mercilessly through the window, beating down on my face in the stuffy classroom.
I was in the special seat, on back corner seat by the window.

Hikari: "Morning. Got a minute?"
Ayami: "...Huh?"

Woken up from the heat and the annoying noise buzzing in my ear, I rubbed the corner of my eyes, making sure no one notices.

And then, through my still-blurry vision, a small, unfamiliar face appeared right up close, practically filling my view.

Well, I couldn't blame anyone but myself for not recognizing her. Skipping all of the first semester tends to do that. But still...

Hikari: "I'm Shirasaka Hikari! Nice to meet you!"
Ayami: "......"

She leaned both hands on my desk, resting her chin on them, leveling her gaze with mine. Her over-the-top friendly expression was practically begging for attention.

Hikari: "So, about homeroom earlier..."
Ayami: "......"

Her grin was like a sunflower in full bloom.
Wow. This girl. It's impressive how she can smile like that at someone she's just met.

Hikari: "You probably didn't catch it since you were asleep, but actually..."
Ayami: "Snnnzz..."
Hikari: "Hey! Don't you dare go back to sleep!"

But interrupting my precious nap with some fake friendliness? How full of herself could she be?

And it was shaping up to be a really nasty dream, too...

Hikari: "Hey, c'mon, Matsushita-san! Please just hear me out!"

Her hand touched my shoulder, starting off light but quickly ramping up into a full-on shake.

I couldn't keep up the act any longer, so I sat up with a scowl, brushing my sweaty hair out of my face.

Ayami: "Ugh, you're so loud... What do you want?"
Hikari: "Like I said, I'm Shirasaka Hikari. Nice to meet you!"
Ayami: "Didn't ask for your name."
Hikari: "Well, uh, I'm in your class, and I'm kind of the class rep..."
Ayami: "Wrong."
Hikari: "Huh? But I am the class rep! I mean, it's not like I'm bragging or anything..."
Ayami: "Not that. I'm Sudou now. My parents split, so my last name changed."
Hikari: "Wha-! Uh, oh, um... I mean... what should I say..."

The moment I threw out that little bombshell, her smile faltered, and she scrambled to put on a more serious face.

I mean, how do I put it? She's weirdly cheerful and pretty considerate, too.

Even when I'm being flat-out rude (yeah, I'm aware), she still keeps her tone soft and her attitude easygoing.
If our roles were reversed, I'd have snapped ages ago.

Although, let's be real, I'm already pretty ticked off on my end anyway.

Hikari: "Sorry. I get it now... You've got your own stuff going on, Sudou-san."
Ayami: "Oh, good. Then can you..."
Hikari: "But since this is about a school event, could you at least hear me out as a classmate?"
Ayami: "..."

This overly sunny and considerate class rep had one glaring flaw: her complete inability to read the room. She was completely ignoring my very obvious leave-me-alone attitude.

Hikari: "So, you probably don't know since you've been out, but our school's cultural festival is coming up soon."

Yeah, no kidding. I'd noticed.
Ever since the start of the semester, the back of the classroom had been cluttered with colorful signs and decorations, which only made their over-the-top excitement stand out even more.

No doubt they even came in during summer break to get all this stuff ready.
Seriously, these people were hopeless.

Hikari: "The thing is, everyone in the class has to take part in the festival. We were sorting out roles during homeroom earlier."

And this overly enthusiastic class rep apparently wanted to do me the great favor of including me in their merry little group. How kind of her.
Truly, I'm so touched.

Hikari: "There are lots of jobs, like prep work and hosting on the day of. So, Sudou-san, which one would you-..."
Ayami: "Oh, don't worry about it. Really."

I was about to gag.

Ayami: "I won't be coming. At all."
Hikari: "...Huh?"

Seriously, stop doing unnecessary stuff.
And stop dragging me into it.

This was supposed to be my refuge.
A place to kill the next two years in blissful, meaningless boredom.
And now, it was ruined.

Ayami: "Well then..."
Hikari: "W-Wait! Hold on!"

I grabbed my bag and got up, heading straight for the door. But she wasn't giving up, scrambling to stop me.

She was still polite, still considerate, but the hand she grabbed my wrist with had a surprising amount of force.

Hikari: "Even if you're planning to skip the festival itself, maybe you could at least help with the preparations..."
Ayami: "Oh? Didn't get it the first time? Wow, you're slow."

I didn't bother holding back as I shook her hand off, hard.

Ayami: "I'm telling you, I'm dropping out! Got it? Idiot!"
Hikari: "...!"

Those words made her go...
Her face went pale, and she just stood there, frozen, looking like a deer in headlights.

While she was stuck like that, I threw the door open and stepped out into the hallway.
The class was dead silent. Not a single word, not even a noise, as they all stared at me, stunned.

............
............

September... The start of the second semester, and after about a year, I finally returned to school.

At the end of July, it was back to just me... well, me and Mom.
Spending the entire summer break stuck in the house, seeing each other 24/7, nearly drove us both to the breaking point.

Every time we saw each other, every time we heard each other's voices, it stirred up all kinds of unnecessary feelings.

Even now, Mom still thinks it's my fault she lost the love of her life. And honestly... I pretty much think the same.

So, whenever we tried to have a proper conversation, it'd immediately spiral into a fight. But even when we stayed silent, the atmosphere was suffocating.

I'd promised myself I'd stay by her side and support her, no matter what.
But giving up after just one month? I hated my own weakness, but what choice did I have?

This life we're living... it's supposed to be a punishment. If I start feeling comfortable in it, then what's the point?

In the end, we managed to hold it together long enough for a short talk.
We came to a compromise: to keep some space between us, I'd escape to the classroom.

If I could make it through to graduation and spend these days in peace, even just a little, that'd be enough.
Not talking to anyone. No one bothering me. Just silently, emotionlessly letting the hours slip away. That sounded perfect.

...Or so I thought.

Seriously, though, why does the universe have to drop people like her into my life?

............
............

I'm Sudou Ayami. Today was the first day back to school.
And I've officially decided, this time for sure, I'm dropping out.