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Chapter 23 - About a year and a half ago. (Part 2)

Late February.
One of those days where the weather flips between warm and cold. What's the saying again? Three cold days, four warm ones? Yeah, it was one of those annoyingly chilly days that feel like winter sneaking back in.

"Sorry, Matsushita... but we can't move you up to second year."
"...Yeah, figures."

So there I was, sitting across from my homeroom teacher in the school staff room -- a place I hadn't set foot in for ages. His face was scrunched up like he'd bitten into something really bitter. Not a great look.

Honestly, even I was surprised that I bothered to show up just because I was called in.

Still, if they actually went through the trouble of summoning me instead of just handling it over the phone, I could pretty much guess what it was about. I mean, there was only one real reason, right?

"Your grades in the first semester weren't bad, but your attendance... well. And then there's the fact you didn't take the finals for the second semester..."
"Look, I said it's fine. I'm not bothered by it, seriously."

He kept dragging out the obvious, looking as pitifully apologetic as he could manage. And there I was, feeling bad for him instead.
Like, wow, dude, sorry for making you feel like you have to put on this act for my sake.

"So, what's your plan from here?"
"My plan?"

Oh, here it comes. This is the real reason I'm here, isn't it?
That whole spiel earlier was just the setup for what he actually wants to say.

"Are you planning to come to school when the new term starts?"
"..."

Bingo. There it is.

"What about tuition and paperwork? Starting in April, new fees will come into play..."
"...You're telling me to quit, huh?"
"That's not what I'm saying. But..."

Oh, but you totally are.
The guilt-ridden look you're trying to slap onto your face isn't fooling anyone.

"If you keep going like you did last year, staying enrolled would just be a waste."

............
............

"Haahhhhh..."

Finally, as I stepped past the lockers in the hallway, I let out a big, aimless sigh. I wasn't even sure what kind of emotions were wrapped up in it -- it was just... a sigh.

"So, basically, pack it up, huh."

Well, it's not like I didn't see this coming.
It's not compulsory education or anything, and from their perspective, my family's circumstances...
Actually, scratch that -- they probably don't even care enough to see it as their problem.

They're just... not interested in me, or students, really.

...So yeah, now what?

Not like I have any attachment to this school, it does mean I've gained a lot of free time.
But wait -- no more student discounts for karaoke or the train? That's gonna suck.

Oh, but more importantly, if they already called home, it's gonna make going back even harder.
I'm running out of excuses for staying out all night, too... What the heck am I gonna do?

"Hmm?"

As I shuffled aimlessly toward the schoolyard, I noticed how unusually lively the place was today.

What's up with that? It's spring break, isn't it?
Clubs? Nah, those kids over there aren't even wearing our uniforms.

"Okay, one more shot! Point at your numbers!"
"Wait, hold up! Let me figure out a pose first!"

Oh... right.
The acceptance announcements.

The results must've been out for a while now -- or maybe everyone already checked them online -- because there weren't a ton of people left by the bulletin board.

Still, more than ten kids were crowding around, scanning the numbers like their lives depended on it. Some looked ready to cry, some looked ready to scream with joy, and others were just taking commemorative photos.

...Speaking of which.

"Looks like you didn't make it, huh? Tough luck!"
"T-the results aren't out yet!"

That entrance exam kid...
What was his name again? Yuu, wasn't it?

Did he make it?
Did he officially become my junior?

Not that it'd matter much, since I'm barely even a student here anymore, let alone his senior. But still...

"Oh."
"Oh."

...Well, speak of the devil.
Right there in front of me, crouched down on the ground like a kicked puppy, was the same guy from a few days ago.

"Hey, wait up, Yuu~!"
"Not now, don't talk to me, Yami-senpai!"

And the moment our eyes met, he bolted upright and tried to run away.
How am I not supposed to get the wrong idea after that.

"So? How'd it go, junior~?"
"You're not my senior anymore!"
"Ah, thought so."

That one seemed to hit a nerve, and Yuu started walking even faster, making a beeline for the school gate like he was dead-set on losing me.

"Oh, come on, don't treat me like I'm that much of a pain."
"I'm leaving! Just leave me alone already!"
"And what are you gonna do once you're home? Nothing, right?"

But nope, I wasn't about to let him get away that easily.
...Not that I had any grand reason for stopping him.

"Besides, do you really want to go home right now? Walk in and tell your parents, I failed~?"
"..."

See, there's no deep meaning behind this. No real sentiment.

Which is exactly why I can mess with him like this, purely out of curiosity -- completely detached and, yeah, kind of cruel.

............
............

"To Yuu's bright future!"
"Could you be more sarcastic?"
"Cheers!"
"Damn it!"

We were at a family restaurant near the station.
With nothing but the drink bar ordered, we'd lined up five colorful beverages on the table, clinked all the glasses together, and downed them like they were shots.

Sure, it was probably annoying for the staff, but Yuu, taking the hint, downed two glasses in no time flat, so... we'll call it even, yeah?

"Nice chugging there! Come on, keep it going!"
"My stomach's gonna burst..."

Even as he grumbled, we kept clinking glasses and gulping down more unnaturally bright-colored drinks, each one looking worse for our health than the last.

Here's to his rejection. And to my flunking out -- no, dropping out.
Cheers to two losers circling the drain.

"But seriously, why were you so dead-set on our school anyway?"
"N-not really... it's just... the vibe, the reputation... stuff like that."
"Ohhh, that's why you're so torn up about it? You're so innocent."
"Shut up."

He shot back a retort, but I could tell he knew.
He could feel it -- how my faint smirk gave me away.
That I'd seen right through his excuse.

"...Fine, honestly..."
"Yeah?"

C'mon, like I don't get it.
The way he's been sulking, full of regret, all mixed-up inside.
That kind of wrecked emotional state doesn't come from some casual admiration.

"There's someone I want to catch up to. To stand next to. And they're there."

Oh, okay, this one's serious.

"A girl?"
"...!"
"Oh, how transparent can you be?"
"S-shut it!"

Ahhh, so it's about a girl, huh?
This plain, unassuming guy... going all lovestruck.

"Ahahaha... hahaha..."
"Don't laugh!"

But I couldn't help it.
It's so dumb. So incredibly dumb.
And yet, knowing he's dead serious just makes it even funnier.

"You like her, huh?"
"I don't."
"Oh, you so do. Wow, my condolences~."
"...Tch."

Here's this idiot, acting like his whole life is over because of something so ridiculous.
Man, people's lives are just... so stupid, aren't they?

"But, well... maybe you've got a point."

Yuu went quiet for a moment.
Then, slowly, he started speaking again, in bits and pieces.

"It's my fault."

His voice carried genuine anger.

"It's my fault for not trying harder until now."

It was filled with real heartbreak.

"If I'd known how much I'd regret it... if I'd known it would hurt this much..."

He was drowning in raw, unfiltered regret.

"I would've worked myself to the bone. Done whatever it took."
"..."

And that's why...

That's why this is so ridiculously pathetic that I can't not laugh.
If it's this stupid, I'm allowed to treat it like a joke, right?

I mean, this guy's out here, losing his mind over something so small, and feeling even more regret than I am?

He's seriously this torn up about it?

"Hey, Yuu..."
"What?"

Yeah, I've decided.
He's the one.

...The one I'll use for my revenge.

"Let's head out. Time for round two."
"Huh? It's late. I should -- "
"This time, I'll heal not just your heart, but your body too."
"...W-what?"

I'm going to scar him.
Completely wreck him.
I'll carve a trauma so deep it'll never fade.

............
............

I'm Matsushita Ayami, the idiot who couldn't move up to her second year after a whole year of school......

......and I'm going to corrupt this pure-hearted fool.