Chapter 6 - One week after that happened.
Today's a completely ordinary... or at least trying to look ordinary... weekday afternoon.
Hikari: "Uh, um, sorry to intrude..."
I already know nobody's in his room but I still keep my voice low while sneaking inside... Not like I'm breaking in or anything! I've got full permission from his family, thank you very much. But I'm still very cautious.
To be honest, I've been avoiding coming over to his house, much less his room.
For the last week, I've been dodging the Takamura family's invitations. And when there was no dinner at my own house, I'd just grab something quick at the convenience store.
But of course, I couldn't keep that up forever. Today, as I tried to quietly slip inside my own house, bam, I got busted by none other than Ms. Takamura.
Ms. Takamura: "Hikari-chan! You haven't come by at all lately, is something going on?"
Hikari: "Huh? Oh, uh, y'know... just been super busy studying for exams and stuff!"
Ms. Takamura: "Your mom's coming home late tonight, right? Come eat dinner with us, and no excuses today!"
Hikari: "Oh, uh, but... I really don't want to be a bother..."
Ms. Takamura: "What are you talking about? Anyway, Yuu's gonna be home any minute, so you can just head up to his room for now!"
Hikari: "N-no, really, that's okay! I'll come over later. I just need to stop by my house first..."
Ms. Takamura: "Nope! You've been mumbling excuses like this for days now! You won't grow big and strong if you don't eat real meals!"
Hikari: "Oh, uh, Auntie..."
Thanks to Ms. Takamura, who just can't read the room but is way too nice, I ended up here again after avoiding this place for a while.
Honestly, she's such a kind person!
Even when he and I fought as kids, she'd take my side over her own son's. Every single time.
What a perfect mother-in-... wait, nope, not yet.
Hikari: "But anyway... putting all that aside..."
Even though I was soaking up that warm, neighborly kindness, I still couldn't shake this awkward feeling.
The floor I used to lie on without a second thought...
The curtains, drawn tightly shut since that day...
And, of course, his bed, where he'd been lying that time...
Hikari: "Ughhh..."
Now, it's like this murky filter has taken over, like I'm suddenly all too aware it's the room of a guy my age... although the murky part has nothing to do with color or transparency!
Anyway, with all that... it's like his room has this whole new vibe, like maybe... maybe I'm not supposed to feel comfortable here anymore.
......But no matter how much I try, I just can't ignore the bed.
This room's only six tatami mats big, and the bed takes up a good third of it. There's just no way to not notice it.
On that bed...
What was he imagining...?
I'm pretty sure... he was looking at something...
Hikari: "...Nothing."
Looking under the bed, all I find is a spotless, empty space.
No books, not a single DVD, heck, not even a speck of dust.
It's almost too clean......
Hikari: "Wait! What am I even looking for?!"
And seriously, what would I even do if I did find something?
Trying to figure out his... interests or preferences? That's way too much for me to handle right now!
Not that I'm not kinda doing it unconsciously anyway...
This is bad. Just being here, right where that happened, has my mind spiraling in... really weird directions...
Hikari: "...Nothing here either, huh."
Even the trash can is spotless, without a single scrap or speck of dust.
Wait, seriously, what am I doing?!
Hikari: "Get a grip, girl!"
If a high school girl starts acting this shady in a guy's room, even if he's her childhood friend, she's definitely getting banned from coming over!
No, it could be even worse than just being banned... he might have an even stronger reaction...
Like, for example...
The shame and humiliation would be so overwhelming that...
In a fit of anger, he'd shove me down onto the bed...
Hikari: "Uh, hey, Ta~kun..."
Yuu: "......"
Hikari: "This is... a joke, right? You're just messing with me... right?"
I'd be pinned under his solid frame, unable to push him off as easily as I could when we were kids.
Yuu: "I... I don't care anymore if you're disappointed in me, Hikari..."
Hikari: "That's not true! You're still Ta~kun, no matter what..."
Yuu: "Which is why I'm not afraid of you rejecting me anymore..."
Hikari: "N-No, I would never..."
His eyes... they've got this wild, almost primal look.
The way he breathes heavily and his sharp gaze makes it feel like he's not entirely human anymore.
Yuu: "Are you ready for this......?"
Hikari: "Ready for what......?"
Yuu: "You're just lying here completely defenseless in my room..."
Hikari: "Ngh......"
But still, I want to believe in the gentle heart that I know is deep inside him.
Well, it doesn't even matter if I believe it or not.
Because for me, whether he's gentle or intense, it doesn't change a thing...
Hikari: "No way! This isn't going in that direction!"
If things between us started with such a rough, irrational pene-... uhhh, introduction, he'd never be able to forgive himself.
And if that happens, everything between us would be over...
Yeah, what we have doesn't need misunderstandings or impulsive moments like that.
I want something real -- where we truly understand each other, share how we feel, and can be sure of each other...
Where we wake up to a gentle morning, both of us smiling like we mean it.
...And let's be real, this whole thing started way too embarrassingly.
If my first time happened because I accidentally saw him, uh, doing that... I mean, come on, that's straight out of some pervy manga!
Hikari: "......time to go home."
I still haven't sorted my feelings out yet.
There's no way I can have a normal conversation with him like this...
Just as I start to get up from the bed, I hear some noises coming from downstairs.
Ms. Takamura: "Hey, Yuu, Hikari-chan's here, so take these snacks and drinks up to her."
Yuu: "W-What...? Hikari's here? For real...?"
Hikari: "Eeep!"
Ta~kun's baaaaaack!!
And I haven't sorted out my feelings at all!
While I'm freaking out, his footsteps are getting louder and closer as he comes up the stairs.
I jump to my feet, but there's no place to hide -- and no time to fix the bed I accidentally messed up.
This is it...
A completely inescapable situation... with zero chance of explaining anything away.
............
............
Yuu: "...Oh, uh, hey."
Hikari: "Oh, Ta~kun, welcome back!"
Yuu: "Hikari...?"
So, I decide to drop the excuses.
Hikari: "Took you long enough! I was starting to run out of manga to read, you know."
Yuu: "Uhh, you're on my bed..."
Hikari: "Oh, come on, who cares? I don't mind."
Yuu: "Well, maybe try minding a little..."
Lying face down on his bed, fully sprawled out in total relaxation mode, I welcome the rightful owner of the room with my laziest, most unbothered self.
Hikari: "It's a little late for that, Ta~kun."
Yuu: "Hikari..."
Hikari: "We've got nothing left to hide from each other, you know."
Well, okay, I am kind of hiding my totally red face by burying into his pillow.
Hikari: "All the embarrassing stuff, the things you don't want anyone to see, the secrets you'd rather keep......"
Not to mention the fact that I'm pressing my face into the pillow to stop my voice from trembling, too.
Hikari: "All of that... it's just not important between us."
Yuu: "R-Really?"
Hikari: "Really."
Somehow, I manage to keep my shaky nerves just barely out of his sight.
Yuu: "I see... yeah..."
With a sigh, he drops right down onto the floor, as if all the tension in him has finally let go.
Thank goodness.
Really, thank goodness...
By my own strength......
I've found my way back to where I belong.
I'm Shirasaka Hikari, sixteen years old......
......and it seems everything went back to normal.
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